Knocking on the Door: The Chosen Reflection Pt. 6

 I saw the biblical image of Jesus knocking on the door in Santiago's room and immediately felt a sense of comfort. I couldn't also help but think of this blog post I wanted to write, regarding this certain image, and its profound beauty and meaning.

I was looking back at an early episode in season 1 of The Chosen that I hadn't seen before. Towards the end the Jews are getting ready for dinner for the Sabbath. Mary Magdalene is hosting and putting ion the dinner and a few guests have already come. She is learning how to do it all and what is accustomed. Right before their meal starting, there is a knock at the door; someone else has come.

As Mary opens the door, she is surprised and taken aback that Jesus has arrived. At that time, she didn't know his name but recognized him as the man who healed her from her demons. She invites in him after a while of staring at him for a while and in awe that he has come to her place. He sits at the last available seat at table, and you can tell the loving look he has in his eyes. You sense mercy, forgiveness and a desire to be present and sharing a meal together.

 Some things are hard to describe purely in words, but this is what I got from watching this scene/part of the episode. Jesus had already called two of the disciples present there as his students. Mary Magdalene would soon be next and was learning more about who Jesus is and more about her culture as a Jew. It made me think of how Jesus knocks on our door- the door of our hearts and seeks us out to be with us, heal us, comfort and support us and encourage us on our journey. 

Be Opened: The Chosen Reflection Pt. 5

 There were many elements to The Chosen season 3 episode 7. But the main one I will highlight is Jesus has something in mind for us that's different than others. Jesus asks John to stay behind while him and the others go to the Decapolis. 

John doesn't understand why he should stay back, when he could be more useful going with the rest of the disciples. But Jesus has something else in mind, another purpose. John is to stay back so he can wait for Simon. Jesus knows best and sees all even if whatever it is feels less than or doesn't make sense. 

Jesus tells John that the Decapolis depends on Simon, so it's important that Simon will be there when John and he go together. You can tell that this is hard for John to hear- there is jealousy and resentment that Simon is a leader and Jesus bestows this importance on him. 

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Another aspect from this episode was when Jesus healed the man who was deaf and dumb. Jesus heals him by saying, 'Ephphatha, be opened' and immediately the man is healed of his disability and is able to speak and hear. This can also be a lesson for us as well, to be opened to what God has in store for us, for a different way than expected. 

The people in the Decapolis had a difficult time hearing and accepting the words and teachings; there were riots and people fleeing from their homes. This is where the episode left off, with Jesus and his disciples being bombarded by the people and not sure which way to go about it. They are waiting on Jesus to lead them and for Simon and John to return. 

Tears and Forgiveness: The Chosen Reflection Pt. 4

 Sometimes our spiritual life can be thwarted by comparison. We compare ourselves to other people, particularly other women. We see ourselves as worse, less than, less experienced, and them more eloquent, bold, confident and faith filled. It's too easy to come by as women, our downfall to feed into this negative spiral. 

This came to mind while watching The Chosen, season 3 episode 6. Mary Magdalen and Tamar are the two women currently with Jesus' ministry and his disciples. But their personalities clash, and there appears to be animosity and annoyance in the air between them. Mary clearly gets annoyed with Tamar who can be outspoken and have her own opinions or ways of doing things. Mary on the other hand misunderstands Tamar and her intentions, and she isn't so welcoming to her. Her demeanor and facial expressions give this away. 

It's in this episode, where Tamar and Mary Magdalene have a heart to heart. The secrets are spilled out if you will, and Tamar asks Mary what's wrong, what's between them. Mary slowly gives her honest feelings, and the truth is revealed. 

Mary openly shares her frustration to Tamar, as she explains that Tamar went through the crowd, opened the roof of the house to let her friend in and be healed by Jesus. Jesus said to her, your faith is beautiful. While on the other hand, Jesus found her (Mary M) in a bar, drunk and possessed. 

I immediately thought of how we so easily compare our weakness, strengths to others, and where Jesus found us in our brokenness, our sin. But each story and journey are unique, there is really no room for comparison or envy.

Tamar is listening intently while Mary Magdelene speaks and shares her frustration. She goes further to explain how Tamar is new, yet comes in with brashness, boldness and confidence, and Mary seems herself to still be figuring things out. The glass is broken, if you will, of her pride and they have tears streaming down and emotion and vulnerability. 

Tamar then explains to her about her necklace (she wears lots of jewelry depicting her lineage and tribe from Ethiopia). Mary didn't understand before why she wore so much and presumed her vanity and attachment to material items, but Tamar explains the history of her necklace. It depicts her family who were all killed in her hometown before she fled. Mary didn't realize and was crying, and connected with her since she too lost her Dad at a young age. Just because Tamar isn't Jewish herself, doesn't mean she doesn't know what it means to suffer. Mary helped Tamar put back on her necklace and she asked for Tamar to forgive her. They both looked at each other with loving, tearful eyes. 

Tamar says besides Mary's shame, she wishes she had her gratitude. They are connected and united like never before, with deeper respect, understanding and appreciation for one another and the mission they are on as Jesus' disciples. 

Mary Magdelene's Confession: The Chosen Reflection Pt.3

 Mary Magdalene is ashamed. She has fallen back into her old life and ways, she has sinned deeply and is ashamed to go back, to meet Jesus. Mary, Jesus' mother accompanies her to the tent where Jesus is. She doesn't say anything, but just listens to the interaction between Mary Magdalene and her Son. I'm sure she sees his gentleness, compassion and mercy shining as he speaks with his beloved apostle.

Jesus looks at her [Mary Magdalene] and says warmly and reassuringly, "It's good to have you back."

"I don't think I can do it." Mary says sadly, emotional to the core, with her head and eyes to the ground and her tears dropping. 

"Do what?" Jesus asks uncertain of her answer. 

Mary says in a vague way, "Live up to it." Her eyes are still downcast.

"I just want your heart.

'The Father wants your heart. Give us that, what you already have. And the rest will come in time.

Do you really think you would never struggle or sin again?

Look at me. I forgive you."

Mary looks up at him and cries, but with tears of gratitude and her and Jesus hug each other warmly.

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Isn't that how it is when we go to confession? We are timid, uncertain, ashamed, guilty of our sins. But Jesus looks at us with tenderness, full of love and mercy, desiring to forgive us and make us new. He admires our humility, and when the priest gives the absolution- Jesus embraces us with his compassion and mercy, just like he did as depicted in The Chosen.

And Our Lady, standing there, accompanying us on the journey, strengthens and comforts us and listens to her Son and helps us do the same.

Do You Want to Be Healed? - The Chosen Reflection Pt. 2

  Jesus says hello, and then asks, 'Do you want to be healed?' The man who has been unable to walk for decades looks at him with disbelief, and amazement. Finally, what he has been waiting for so long will come into fruition. He will be able to enter into the water, the pool where he has been laying near for years upon years. 

'Will you carry me into the water?' the man anxiously asks. But Jesus has another way in mind. He says that the pool means nothing and will not do anything for him. In a way, it can be seen as an idol. The man is forlorn upon these words and then complains that he has never been able to enter into the water because whenever he tries, he is always stepped over and trampled upon by the others getting to the same place. 

Jesus strictly and plainly says, 'I'm not talking about others, or who's helping you or not. Look at me. I'm asking you if you want to be healed?' Jesus' gaze, his eyes, his tenderness and touch of emotion in his eyes says it all. And we can see clearly that Jesus goes back to the main point- instead of focusing on false idols, attachments, and blaming others, he goes back to the root, the source- which is healing. 

The message I received form this episode, and this scene specifically, is to focus on Him instead of our problems. He knows our deepest and truest desires. We can easily make excuses, or hold on to things that enslave us, attachments, hurts as well as false idols causing us to cloud our vision. But there is life, joy and hope when we go to Him in need of healing, as the man once he was healed was able to stand up, walk and take his mat and Jesus told him to do. 

Jesus' Loving Gaze- The Chosen Reflection Pt.1

 'Are you ready to do hard things?' This question reverberated with me and felt like this question was directed me too, with Jesus' direct gaze and loving eyes solely focused on the person He was talking to. Jesus was asking directly to Judas, in the TV series, The Chosen once Judas was interested in joining and following him and his mission. Of course, Jesus already knows the outcome of Judas' betrayal, and his passion towards greed and money that overcomes his loyalty and love for Our Lord. But how are we any different? Without God's tender love and mercy, and the grace to be reconverted and restored, we will be the same.

It's a question that we can see in many facets of our lives. Hard things come up, difficult decisions to make, difficult people to love and forgive, various circumstances, etc..

Can I honestly look at Jesus, and say, 'with your help and your grace, I can'. Judas wanted to as well as his answer. At first, he was a little taken a back. He mentioned some of the things he could contribute and give to Jesus' ministry, as well as his talents. But perhaps we have more to give, which is our love and loyalty, our yes to do hard things in love for him. 

Divine Mercy in My Soul

 

Russian Question Words

Russian Words!

A Little Reflection :)

Happy Easter!

Jesus' Temptations

The Humility of Nazareth

Language Video (for Valentine's Day)

Merciful Love

Marian Consecration

Remembering the Fruit of Our Lives

 I have come to remember that the Word is alive and active. Whether coming across a scripture verse that stood out, or recalling a Bible verse and feeling comfort and inspiration from it. Yesterday and today, I have found that the Holy Spirit is active and guides us in our everyday moments, even sometimes gently reminding us of His presence through scripture.

Yesterday, as I was reading the amazing book about St. Gianna Molla, I came across a psalm verse that was depicting the Beretta family and Gianna's upbringing. It was the same Responsorial Psalm from the Mass readings, and it was beautiful. Psalm 128: Blessed are those who fear the Lord/Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; Your children like olive plants around your table. I found this a wonderful description of St. Gianna's upbringing, in her home as the author described her parents marriage and dynamic as well as her other siblings ( she had 7 siblings). 

I can't help but think about fruit and connect it with the first readings from Mass this week. The Book of Genesis, Adam and Eve deliberately are told by God not to eat the fruit from the tree of Good and Evil. And today's reading, Genesis 3:1-8, when Eve is tempted by the serpent to eat of the fruit and "the moment you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know what is good and what is evil." We all know how the story ends, and it leads to onslaught of sin, shame, disobedience and we are all a product of it from our first parents. 

This fruit is seen not just as something tangible like an apple or an orange, but what leads to life or what leads to death. As Galatians Chapter 5 states, "The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Reading more about St. Gianna's life, the fruit of her life, of her faith and her gentleness, patience, joy and love speak volumes even many years after her death (though she's known as a recent and modern day saint). 

Upon listening to Relevant Radio this week on the way to work, I heard a young girl ask a question on the air to Patrick Madrid. She asked 'why did Jesus cursed the fig tree?' And Patrick Madrid gave a clear and good answer, saying that the fig tree is a symbol for a person and how they are to  live their life. He referred to the Gospel message when Jesus and his disciples come back later to that same fig tree and noticed it has withered and has no life in it. 

The host, Patrick Madrid gave concise reasoning as he was speaking to a young person, that Jesus wants us to be happy in this life and we need to stay close to him. I thought it was a great reminder as I had a harder start to the week, and remembering this verse, this image of the fig tree (and this blog titled that), was a good reminder for me as well. :)

Today, I also came across two Bible verses from the Mass readings today. After Mass this morning, I was organizing some things in my closet and randomly pulled out a Radiant Magazine- a Teenage/Young Catholic women mini magazine that I received back in my early 20's and my sisters and I would share them, and I have still saved them. I opened to a page, and the first thing I read was a scriptural verse from the Gospel reading of Mark that was read today  at Mass. "He has done all things well. He makes the deaf hear and the mute speak." Mark 7:37. I was amazed, and below was an article that was related to that similar message of Jesus healing, particularly through hearing. 

And I flipped a page in front, and yet another scriptural verse, again used for today's Mass from the first reading. The title of that page was 'Who is Whispering?' and went on to say, "Did God really say, 'You shall not eat from any of the trees in the garden'?" Satan's words to Eve reveal much. He is a liar who uses doubt to try to separate us from God. ...Let St. Catherine of Siena's words be your own, 'Give no ear to what the devil whispers to you.' " I again was amazed at this connection, and felt there was some sort of meaning behind it.

 I came to mind how this week at times, my mind and heart felt flooded with doubt, comparison and a feeling at times of restlessness and discouragement on my heart. Peace began to pave way while at Mass, adoration and prayer. And as I told my sister on the phone regarding some doubt about the program I am in now and the path ahead, yet how it comes from the evil one wanting us to doubt God's plan and our peace and confidence, even joy in that.

 I believe the Holy Spirit inspired me to read more about St. Gianna Molla, as I'm sure she had her many doubts, uncertainties about God's plan for her life, her vocation and how it would all come to be. I felt flooded with renewed peace, encouragement, inspiration and joy feeling a deeper connection with her, her story and witness for God's plan unfolding for her. And it made me want to work even harder in my program, more dedication as she was working professional women, and did her work as a Doctor very well and cheerfully serving others. 

Another thing, yesterday was the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. It was also the day I chose to end the Marian Consecration I was preparing for for the past 33 days. I also felt a sense of refreshment, joy, and peace learning more about Our Lady and uniting my efforts with hers and ultimately to her son, Jesus. 

It was raining yesterday, and eventually loud and hard while at adoration. But I thought of those raindrops as grace being poured down. (Luckily, there was a covering). And the church has a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette praying, so I went over there after, with rain sprinkling lightly and gently and entrusting everything to Our Lady. It was a beautiful moment. And I will continue to trust that I can bear fruit in this life with her help, grace and intercession. 

Thanks for reading:)

Hello to a New Year

 It's the last day (night) before the new year! The new liturgical year that is, and it's so exciting to think about a new year ahead. Drawing to a close this year and anticipation for the next, and particularly Advent and getting ready for Christ's coming is such a beautiful and reflective time. 

All of the Mass readings have reflected in some way upon the end times, what's ahead and most of all Christ's return. The Gospel reading from yesterday was also another reminder. 

"Jesus told His disciples a parable. 'Consider the fig tree and all the other trees. When their buds burst open, you see for yourselves and know that summer is now near; in the same way, when you see these things happening, know that the Kingdom of God is near. Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.' " Luke 21:29-33

How closely heaven is to earth and how Jesus makes his disciples and us understand higher things, spiritual things as we are so tied to earth and its own signs. The fig tree and one of my personal favorites, magnolia trees show their own signs in seasons. The fig tree is known for its fruitfulness in all seasons and what a great way to reflect and remind that that's how we are supposed to be as well. 

I can recall in former years attending a Catholic ministry dance on the cusp of the new liturgical year. Instead of it being a Christmas dance, I saw it more like a new years eve party with all the balloons, festivities and holiday attire. 

As I was in the church this evening (the same parish as the dance), I came reflecting upon this liturgical year as most of it was in 2020. And new things ahead, as well as resolutions for this season of Advent and into the Christmas season and New Year. The full moon tonight was beautiful and felt like an ending as well as a new beginning as it showcased the dusk sky so majestically. 

Happy Advent, and new liturgical year!!

Keeping the Light

 Today's Gospel reading of the ten virgins with their lamps and oil waiting for the bridegroom is a profound one. It's a reminder for us all as we near the ending of this liturgical year and start a new one. To be spiritually ready, watchful, alert, and awake. Lamps represent light and spreading God's light. And flasks of oil are the reserves, which the 5 foolish ones were not prepared for. As the Gospel of Matthew 25 says, "While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked."

Just a few weeks ago, I had plans to go to an early week day Mass. I felt that I was right on time but I quickly learned that I wasn't early enough, as the doors were locked. They were sealed tight and no one heard my knocking and pounding on the door in the shivering and the darkness of a Fall morning before sunrise. The bell rung as Mass began to start, and I felt so sad I couldn't partake and no one could hear me. I immediately thought of this Gospel reading in how the doors were locked, the rest of them weren't let inside even though they had some of their preparation with their lamps, but not enough oil to light them. 

It's a remarkable reminder as we contemplate what makes us prepared and ready for Christ's coming. I learned that day that waking up on time was crucial if I wanted to make it to Mass and start my day out right with the graces I need. The Magnificat read a beautiful reflection for the Gospel reading, and this is how it ended. "By penetrating words and keen, persuasive images, the patient Teacher is presently hard at work, forming virginal hearts in his hearers, showing them how to distill drop by drop the oil of fidelity and devotion into the lamps of their hearts, against the day when he, and no other, will come as ardent Lover, demanding a pure, flammable offering where his passion may eternally burn."

Everything Comes From the Cross

 Today marks the feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross. I was reflecting upon it this morning, soon after waking up. About Jesus' own cross, Mary's deep sufferings- hence tomorrow is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, and the real, personal crosses in our own lives. 

From a church my sister visited

I looked up the message or meaning behind this feast, and it said , "To celebrate the cross itself, the instrument of salvation." There are different events in our lives and in my own where it showcases this suffering, this deep cross  whether interiorly, exteriorly and things of the sort. I was also thinking of some saints who happen to strike me in certain ways as upholding this cross in their unique pains and saying yes to what God had in store for them. A few of these saints that come to mind are Our Lady, St. Joseph, St. Padre Pio, St Gemma Galgani, St. Maria Faustina, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Oscar Romero, and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. 

Drawing closer to Our Lady in trust, in prayer, and through the rosary and the 7 Sorrows Chaplet Rosary, it's evident there were many sufferings and painful experiences she went through in her life. Growing more in my faith through these prayers has been helpful in my own life. Reading St. Maria Faustina's diary has allowed me to understand St. Faustina's mission and what Jesus has bestowed upon her as well as the many graces. Feeling more connected with her and learning about her various trials amidst the convent life shows her faith as a beautiful testimony. 

After reading Story of a Soul by Saint Therese of Lisieux, it has drawn other inspirations. Learning more about her saintly parents, and her family from my dear sister reading books about St. Zelie and Louis Martin has made me more intrigued to understand this beautiful soul through her parents, and family life. 

And St. Oscar Romero, I feel has followed me around. I have an image of him on my window, a key chain of him on my car keys, I have seen his tomb in El Salvador while visiting for my dear sister and brother-in-law's wedding, a t-shirt from the same sister, and now a bracelet from my other sister that I have been wearing lately. I only know a little bit about his story. He was a Catholic priest during the time of severe persecution and violence against priests in El Salvador. I believe he was shot while saying  Mass, most specifically while raising the host during the consecration. His true courage, and witness of faith is inspiring, powerful and transformative. 

Wearing the St. Oscar Romero bracelet

And there are many crosses that I can relate with on a personal level. I think one of the biggest ones for me in the past years has been loneliness. I experienced deep and heavy loneliness during my time in college specifically after transferring to a University. This experience and feeling has its waves and comes and goes at different times. 

Looking back, I can see a lot of growth, a lot of beauty in the process even though in the moment it didn't feel like much growth, goodness or beauty was happening. I remember describing to a former contact about some of that lonely experience while in school. This person was also going through a challenging time and was seeking some sort of consolation, or advice when we met up. I described to them a little of what I was going through then, and how looking back I could see it was in hindsight actually a beautiful and transformative time. Looking back for myself, it was a time to grow closer to myself and God, that He willed. 

And recalling those hard days, weeks and months a few years back reminds me of this year and how interesting and difficult it has been in its own way. Not too long ago, I felt that the only thing that I really did outside the house was go to church and pray. And some grocery shopping and exercise, but driving to the church felt most transformative, healing, necessary and essential throughout the months of ongoing waiting, wondering and hoping. It felt like it would never end and that was a very heavy cross to bear. I see it now as a growing in patience, fortitude and trust that things will fall into place when they are supposed to. 

Things on this side of the year aren't to say its easier or better. It's a lot different with a close sister out of the house, having a job again, some smoky air, and figuring things out again on this journey of faith and life, but I feel that I have grown and learned a lot along the way. God will continue to help me carrying my cross.