A Bright Light, A Resting Place

Christmas is almost here. Lights are strewn across the house, the tree and the block. I am very grateful to have been able to have a good amount of time this Advent season to reflect and prepare for Christmas, the holiest and most special of seasons.

The lights in our homes, on our Christmas tree are there to represent hospitality and generosity. We are meant to reflect this back to others as Christ did to us when he came into the world as a baby. I was reading a few days ago a reflection piece from St. Josemaria pertaining to Christ's humility.

"There is great simplicity also about his birth. Our Lord comes without any fanfare. No one knows about him. On earth only Mary and Joseph share in the divine adventure. And then the shepherds who received the message from the angels. And later on, the wise men from the East. They were the only witnesses of this transcendental event which unites heaven and earth, God and man... God humbled himself to allow us to get near him, so that we could give our love in exchange for his, so that our freedom might bow, not only at the sight of his power, but also before the wonder of his humility" (Christ Is Passing By, p. 38-9).

I was moved with his words, his explanations and reflection. I think we can often forget the reverence, value and deep meaning of Christmas sometimes. We know the story and become used to it, like it's second nature and can go through the motions. I think there is always something new to take from the story, meaning, feast and celebration of Christmas. Each year looks a little different because we're a little different maybe we are wiser, more experienced, more mature and have grown in various ways including spiritually.

The commercialism is a given and it too can cloud our vision of the true meaning of Christmas and how to prepare ourselves. Recently, I saw the brightest, loudest and most popular light show entourage on the block. It looks the same every year but it always bring about many people- children, families, couples, young adults. There's contemporary Christmas music playing, lights sparkling and moving and pictures being taken right and left. It's a sight to see but it's also a lot to look at, along with a crowd of people to peruse.

The house right next to it has a nice decor of lights and a simple but radiant nativity scene of Mary, Joseph and Jesus on their lawn. I took sometime to look and reflect upon it. It is such a contrast to the busyness, the loud and bourgeois and ever glowing lights and festivities  next door. Jesus was born in the most simple and humblest of ways. There were no parading lights, loud noises, or flashes for all to see and pay attention to. "His Father is the God who has made heaven and earth and there he is, in a manger, 'because there was no room at the inn'- there was nowhere else for the Lord of all creation" (Christ Is Passing By, p.39). Instead there was peace, there was silence and there was love. Love for you and me, that God humbled himself and sent his only Son to be born into the world. "God's will is fulfilled in the simplest, most ordinary of circumstances: a woman who gives birth, a family, a home" (p. 43).

Through Jesus' humble and ordinary way of coming into the world, of living on earth and becoming one of us for our sake, our most ordinary and simple experiences and circumstances is where God is as well. As St. Josemaria writes, "There is no human situation, no matter how trivial and ordinary it may seem, which can not be a meeting place with Christ and a step forward on our journey toward the kingdom of heaven" (p.43). May we be open to Christ to come into our lives, and our hearts this Christmas season. I wish you a very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Humus and hummus

The best is yet to come

In Preparation

This week is the last week of the liturgical year. Yesterday, we celebrated the feast of Christ the King. We are preparing for the coming of Jesus and the upcoming Advent and Christmas season. Advent starts next Sunday, and it's a time for preparation for Jesus' birth and a very special, holy and joyful time of the year. It also starts the beginning of  a new liturgical year.

It's kind of crazy to think that this year of 2018 is also slowly drawing to a close with only a month or so left. With thanksgiving recently happening, I'm trying to reflect upon all that has happened and all that I am grateful for this year. It can seem like a lot and maybe even a little overwhelming, but I see it as a good challenge to think and see all that God has done for me, specifically this year.

I'm also wanting to reflect on all that I have learned, gained and grown in spiritually this liturgical year. As the priest said at Mass today, we are reliving Jesus' life throughout the liturgical year and it is the only way to live. All ways of living and cultures will die and fade away, but Jesus' way, the Christian way will live on. I really like that message, to remember that all throughout the year we are journeying on Jesus' life and growing and experiencing our faith with Jesus close by.

I remember I went to a Young Adult Christmas dance last year. It was the eve of the liturgical year, and it felt like a New Year's Eve party liturgically because Advent was soon approaching. I took a break from dancing and reflected upon the year and looking forward to the next, with the upcoming Advent and Christmas season. This year, I want to create that excitement in me again. To prepare for Jesus' birth, to grow deeper in prayer and set time for reflection and solitude. It is a busy time of year, with the commercialization of Christmas and the push and pull of shopping and running around town, slipping into the necessity of buying and buying some more. I think we can get caught up in how things are supposed to be this time of year and to reach a certain level of holiday cheer. The real meaning and value is preparing for something bigger and greater. It's something of peace and gentleness and full of love. Jesus reigns and has won the battle for us by being nailed on the cross and dying.

"With true humility, he, God, stooped down to our humanity in suffering and shame, and conquered pride and worldly pleasure and prestige. And with his wisdom he conquered the malice of the devil. So with unarmed hand, nailed fast to the cross, he defeated the prince of the world, with the holy cross as his mount." (The Magnificat).

Father, Son and Holy Spirit in Arabic

I am n

Sacrificing Blood

The Gospel reading today focused on giving away all that you have even if it doesn't make sense. The woman who was poor gave away all that she had for her livelihood and it was seen as pleasing in God's eyes. The second reading pertained to Jesus' sacrifice for us all and giving up his body and blood to save us from sin. "Not that he might offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters each year into the sanctuary with blood that is not his won; if that were so, he would have had to suffer repeatedly from the foundation of the world. But now once for all he has appeared at the end of the ages to take away sin by his sacrifice" (Letter to the Hebrews).

Jesus giving away his body and blood for our well-being and new life symbolizes the role of a woman when she is pregnant. The woman is creating space and is essentially giving away her body for her baby, her nutrients, her blood, and ultimately sacrificing for the new life in her. I have seen this with my sisters and sister-in-law who are all experiencing pregnancy at the same time. Just yesterday, my dear sister gave birth to her precious son. She had a complicated procedure after unforeseen circumstances, and throughout this process she was just like Jesus suffering on the cross and submitting His Father's will before His own, giving away His body and blood for a new creation of life and enduring pain and openness at the same time.

Blood is an essential life source. Giving it away is a sacrifice as well as a severe threat to health and life. I was planning on giving blood yesterday and although I was nervous and ready to challenge myself through the slight discomfort, I wanted to help someone or a few who needed blood to carry them through whatever their situation was. It turned out that everything was okay for me to give except there was pain and discomfort from the needle in my right arm that lead to a bruise and a weak arm for a few hours. Although I didn't give my blood and it didn't turn out the way I planned, I give myself credit for trying and an effort to helping those in need. I think God looks at our efforts rather than our successes.

In Arabic, there are some interesting phrases pertaining to blood. Far dammi literally means my blood boils and has to do with feeling so angry. Khafeef dam means light blood or blood flowing and has to do with having a sense of humor. T'eel dam means heavy blood and has to do with not being very funny.

In sum, I see a woman who is pregnant beautiful, powerful, self-sacrificing, lovely, strong and courageous. Every time I pray in my backyard while facing Our Lady of Grace Mary statue, there are so many words to describe her. She is pregnant and has Jesus inside her. She is radiant and has strength because Jesus is with her. Her hands are faced open showing grace to the world on which she is standing. The globe isn't void of evil though, Satan in the from of a serpent roams the earth but Mary has a strong hold on her right foot smashing the serpent's head.

I am excited to meet my soon to be born neices/nephews. I am very proud of my beautiful sister, God is close to her and her baby, and Mary will comfort her.

Layers of the Heart

The message of today's readings and Gospel were powerful, beautiful and relevant. This is not to say that other daily readings or Gospel messages are not powerful, beautiful or even relevant to today. Today's message revolves around the temple of God and being God's building, His dwelling place. When I think of being a temple of God it can be daunting or surreal. I think it should mostly show in our actions, the way we present ourselves and where our hearts lie. In all, we are called to be holy..."For the temple of God, which you are, is holy" (St. Paul to the Corinthians). Buildings and structures relates to the catastrophe of the fires burning in Northern California, and the fact that many have lost their resting place and homes due to this natural disaster.

The Gospel reading for today was about Jesus becoming angry with people selling merchandise and earning money outside His father's house. "He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, as well as the money changers seated there. He made a whip out of cords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen, and spilled the coins of the money- changers and overturned their tables and to those who sold doves he said, 'Take these out of here, and stop making my Father's house a marketplace' " (Gospel of John).

It would be easy to believe that only these things happened during Jesus' time. However, our own times has its own issues and occurrences of this. The priest at Mass today mentioned 'distractions like the tablet or phone that sucks us in and draws our focus further away from God'. He stated that 'God is begging for our attention now more than ever due to the distractions that we face in our world'. Where are our hearts leading us is a question we all need to ask ourselves. God is more focused on our hearts and what is there rather than what is on our screen. He is seeking and desiring our full attention despite all the noise in the world.

I admit it can be difficult to skew away from this noise and various distractions. Recently, I took a step back and reflected on why I follow the people that I do on social media. What's the meaning or purpose behind it since they are not in my life directly and do not know them personally either. It was a good reflection and to ask myself the qualities that I like in them or the content they bring out. I noticed the time away from the screen and Instagram posts alike. I felt liberated, free and refreshed, closer to prayer, and more intentional and simple. I think its good to step away from these everyday routines and social media platforms but I also think it's okay and healthy to have a balance and still use it but in strict moderation, at least speaking for myself. 

Though there may not be vendors and others selling secular goods right outside God's house, our hearts and time may be feeding into that more than necessary. While I was in Rio de Janerio for a study abroad program back in 2016, I wasn't able to go to Mass on a Sunday due to schedule conflicts and the safety and proximity of getting to a Catholic Church. On one of these Sundays, most people in my group and I went to a 'hippie fair' and it was just as the Gospel described, many vendors selling merchandise that was appealing to the eye for tourists such as t-shirts, magnets, jewelry, clothing, paintings, ect... I couldn't get to Mass on one of these Sundays and I felt the emptiness inside in not receiving the Eucharist and the Sacrament of the Word. Luckily, I was able to attend and figured out a Mass time and place the following Sunday. :)

Furthermore, the only concert that I have gone to with a 'friend' was at a then sanctuary or Church and became to be used as a concert hall or for other events. It was fine overall, but deep in my heart it was personal because this place of worship was now a place of worship for worldly things and attractions that were beyond and far from the peace and joy of the heart for many.

Lastly, one of my favorite songs from Audrey Assad is 'The House your Building'. It speaks to the heart of what God has planned for our lives, and how we can submit and will that plan for our lives as well. "A homeless stranger/ I've been wandering/ All my life you've been calling me/ To a home you know I've been needing. I'm a broken stone /So lay me in the house you're building. "

Trusting in God

The definition of success

Preparing to hold flowers

What do you think is one of the hardest if not the hardest pain to carry? I feel that there are multiple circumstances and events that could be painful and heavy to bear. However, I think being alone is somewhere towards the top. I don't necessarily mean simply being alone but rather feeling like you're the only one and the deep feelings of loneliness. I have encountered loneliness many times in the past few years, and it certainly is a cross to carry. I do believe that it's becoming more common unfortunately due to our fast-paced, social media and tech based world. Many people are now experiencing various things alone due to their higher activity and involvement based on technology and primarily, I feel, social media.

I don't own social media accounts and haven't for a while. I think using and checking social media is not bad in and of itself. It's where people are at. But I do think it is part of our society's problem or epidemic in experiencing loneliness and a void with connecting with people, and I mean really connecting with people, like an actual conversation.

For me, I think this feeling of being lonely has formed over a certain period of time. It's highly difficult to meet and connect with young people and it can be just as hard to figure out where to look to. I also think it's a certain stage in  life. Being outside of college and trying to make it and bloom where you're planted as they say isn't all that easy and it takes time. While listening to the radio yesterday, I couldn't help but notice the obviousness or the subtleties of some songs that depicted feeling lonely or not part of something bigger. I have liked this somewhat oldie for a while, She will be Loved by Maroon 5, but listening to it actually brought tears in my eyes, the lyrics touched me. It reminded me of how God wants to heal us and touch our hearts. "My heart is full and my door's always open, you come anytime you want...I don't mind spending everyday everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain look for the girl with the broken smile ask her if she wants to say a while and she will be loved".

When we are stripped of our comforts and our desires we are like Jesus on the cross who was stripped of his garments, comforts, love of human hearts as well as His Father's divine plan. His arms and hands were outstretched, giving us all of Him and submitting and uniting His will to His Father's. I too can submit my will with His and in the meantime serve others with my hands and use my hands to create beautiful and inspiring things.

Back in high school I took a pottery and ceramics class. I didn't happen to be very good at it and really tried to make something that looked recognizable or pleasing to my teacher. I made a vase that looked decent enough and was proud of it. I still have this rustic vase years later and have put fake flowers for added effect. I've kept these false white hydrangeas from an old friend sister's wedding a few years back. I don't grow tired looking at them. It made me think of all the hard work, frustration, insecurity and doubt while forming and making this clay vase. The hard work payed off because now there are beautiful flowers resting inside and showcasing their flair. The vase has earned it's reward, to hold something lovely and beautiful.