God Provides

God provides. This was the message my favorite priest gave on Monday. The Gospel was at the heart relating to faith and God doing what he does best, provide. Jesus says to Peter pertaining to the temple tax, "But that we may not offend them, go to the sea, drop in a hook, and take the first fish that comes up. Open its mouth and you will find a coin worth twice the temple tax. Give that to them for me and for you." (Matthew 17:22-27).

Upon reflection, there were certain things that came to my mind regarding God's plan and purpose in His divine provision. This past Sunday, my sister, her friend and I had the honor of bringing up the gifts at Mass. I carried the wine and I couldn't help but think of the significance of it all. Wine is a symbol for many things when it comes to Jesus' sacred blood, but I also remembering hearing that wine is God's gift of joy, plenty and generosity. Wine is a good thing and it's not just a necessity like water but an abundance more. That's how God provides, more than we can imagine and at times we can't know or imagine either.

I watched the movie Mary of Nazareth with my sister last week, and we were both impressed with how the film depicted and portrayed Mary's life and her role. The scenes displayed well her deep surrender, trust, and love for God and humility to do His will. It also highlighted her 7 sorrows and her many crosses of misunderstandings, loneliness, and uncertainty when it came to Jesus' ministry and after Joseph passed away. God provided for Mary and her trust, faith, and hope in His plan and timing was an added response to that. God provided for us in giving us Mary as the new Eve throughout her life and especially through Jesus' sufferings on the cross, when he stated to John, 'Behold, your Mother.' This wasn't said just to John but meant for all of us, all of humanity. This is relevant since tomorrow is the feast of Mary's Assumption.

Yesterday, my dear sister and brother-in-law celebrated their 3rd Wedding Anniversary. It was so special to be a witness to their wedding ceremony and reception in El Salvador, and to watch their love story unfold in God's beautiful timing. To see God provide for my sister and their marriage is a powerful, hopeful and joyful thing to witness.

The coin in the fish's mouth is an odd, and even funny thing. God has a sense of humor and a way of providing that usually exceeds our expectations and predictions since life isn't predictable. And that's important to note, we aren't in control, God is. And He has a specific plan and will provide in His own unique, awesome, and beautiful way.

Greetings of Peace

This first week of Easter is very special and profound. Our hearts are rejoicing in Jesus our Savior for conquering death and rising from the dead and granting our salvation.  Peter and John were the two disciples who ran to see that the tomb was empty and 'Mary Magdalene was met by two angels about where Jesus' body now lay. Jesus is near her but she believes him to be the gardener as he asks her why she is weeping, and who she is looking for? When he says her name, Mary, she then sees and believes it is Jesus by calling him teacher.' (John 20:11-18). The disciples were walking on the road called Emmaus where they were talking and discussing the things that had happened. And there Jesus meets them though they do not recognize it is him. 'They felt their hearts burning within them while he spoke to them and opened the scriptures to them.' (Luke 24: 13-35).

These readings from the Gospels this week show the mysterious, divine and loving way in which Jesus shows himself. He is different perhaps he looks different or their hearts weren't open to seeing the risen Christ. But it shows that He is with us and meets us on our way, and where we are at. "We are consoled by the fact that Jesus sees us, knows, and loves us, even when we are not thinking of him, or are troubled and discouraged. Finally, Christ command to 'stop holding on' is because he desires still greater intimacy with us than as one who stands external to us. He wants us to "receive the gift of the Holy Spirit' who will transform us into other Christs" (Magnificat).

After watching the movie Risen last week on Good Friday, I came to know and understand more of the disciples longing for Christ and revealing himself to them. This reflection from the Magnificat reminded me of what the disciples were experiencing as well as any one of us in our spiritual journey. "God's preference for hiding does not match our expectation of intimacy with him..Indeed God may seem painfully unknown when he is sought most intensely. It can be as though we induce him to hide when we desire him most. We know him sometimes only as he leaves behind sharp hungers in our soul..After every instance of showing himself, our Lord disappears again from sight, a further provocation to spiritual hunger.. Perhaps the saints became holy because they never made peace with the impossibility of seeing God in this life. Among the poor, or in the midst of hostile or indifferent souls, they went in search of his face, only to return again to the silence of prayer where God once more hid himself. These souls lived as though always on the verge of finding a treasure."

What comes to my mind this first week of Easter is that God is always with us in our trials, our sufferings, our despair, our fears as well as our joys, hopes, and desires. Just as Jesus gave his peace to his disciples, he says and does the same for us. Just how his disciples recognized him in the breaking of the bread, we meet him in our daily encounters, in the ordinary, and in our true food and drink, for he is the bread of life. I can find Jesus in my daily journey, to work and taking the same road that once lead me to my former job that I often think about. The road was outstretched and I felt prepared and inspired to teach my students. The road now is short and I pass a nice park and a field of lovely spring flowers, and I often think of that long stretched road from months ago, but know that God was with me then as well as now.

My favorite priest left for Israel this past week and I received the shirt I created having to do with Israel. It is inspired from this blog- Say Hello to the Fig Tree. I imagined it in my mind for quite sometime and enjoy creating something that is personal and meaningful, an original creative work. I wear this shirt now with an image and flag of Israel, and an image of Nathaniel under the fig tree approached and greeted by Jesus telling him to follow him, along with the words 'say hello'. The fig tree symbolizes fruit and hopefully fruit that will last and not be like the barren fig tree. The fig tree is also a symbol of Israel and God's covenant. I would love someday to visit this spiritually enriching and historical place. I continue to reflect upon the liturgical season we are in, and may the risen Christ continue giving us the graces of peace and joy, alleluia!

Confessing Our Brokenness

Self-righteousness...we can all have it and it can come out at various times. Many people think that Catholics are self-righteous or Christians of various nominations, those who keep and practice their faith and take it seriously perhaps are labeled as self-righteous to others from an array of backgrounds. And this can be true to an extent but it also depends on where someone is coming from. We all have pride in our lives and in our hearts and it can take away our joy because in the end God should be our pride and joy not necessarily ourselves and our achievements.

Today's Gospel reading is from John Chapter 8  verse 1-11 about the woman caught in the act of committing adultery. She is scoffed at and pointed at for sinning and threatened to be stoned. But Jesus jumps over the law so to speak and instead of focusing on the woman's sin, he asks the Pharisees if any one of them is clean and free from sin, to be the first to throw a stone at her. And they all eventually go away from her as they can admit they also have their own dealings and attachments to sin. Jesus then says to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?..Neither do I condemn you. Go and from now on do not sin and more."

How easy it is for us to focus on other's shortcomings and downfalls instead of our own. We hide our weaknesses and sin to others and instead show our achievements and successes. When we are like the Pharisees in the Gospel, we act like we are better than others and our pride and self-righteousness gets the better of us. God is without sin and yet he doesn't condemn us like we can sometimes do to others, instead he invites us to be free from sin and turn again to him. This happens when we go to the Sacrament of Confession. We come fact to face with God through the priest and give him our sins, our failings, our shortcomings. I was able to go to Confession yesterday after wanting to go for sometime during this Lenten season. Like most people, it can be scary, intimating or a little nerve wracking before going but I have asked the saints and my guardian angel, and the Holy Spirit to be with me and guide me. Yesterday was Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati's birthday and I was thinking and praying to him for certain intentions, as he is a wonderful example and intercessor.

Before waiting in the confession line, I read over a beautiful prayer that never gets old or boring and I feel it is especially relevant while waiting to receive the Sacrament of Confession. I will share part of it here.

"Nothing in your life is unimportant to me. I have followed you through the years, and I have always loved you- even in your wanderings. I know everyone of your problems. I know your needs and your worries. And yes, I know all your sins. But I tell you again that love you-not for what you have or haven't done- I love you for you, for the beauty and dignity my Father gave you by creating you in His own image. It is a dignity you have often forgotten, a beauty you have tarnished by sin. But I love you as you are, and I have shed My Blood to win you back. If you only ask Me with faith, My grace will touch all that needs changing in your life; and I will give you the strength to free yourself from sin and all its destructive power."

After receiving the graces of the Sacrament of Confession, I feel light. My inner being feels as light as a feather and full of peace, being lifted in God's loving mercy and grace. The beauty of Confession is acknowledging and confronting our weaknesses and sins in a humble way. God designed it this way for us to know that we need him and he meets us in our humility and desire for peace and forgiveness. I will end with a quote from Venerable Fulton J Sheen's book, Peace of Soul. "Everyone in the world is looking for certitude, peace of soul, and freedom of spirit. Everyone wants the things that only a love of God will bring to him. Anyone who turns his face toward the light will be converted; but the turning must be done of his own free will."

Peace of Soul

The Fruit of the Heart

"...For every tree is known by its own fruit. For people do not pick figs from thorn bushes, nor do they gather grapes from brambles. A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good, but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil; for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks." (Gospel of Luke) This excerpt comes from today's Gospel, and the message is so important, powerful and relevant to the readings and message of today. The fig tree is mentioned a lot in the Gospels as it's a reflection of many things. In today's Gospel reading, it signifies the goodness of one's heart and intentions and what kind of fruit they bear. As is mentioned in Galatians 5, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

On Friday's (3/1/19) first reading from the book of Sirach, it mentions friendship and finding true friends by testing them first. "...Keep away from your enemies; be on your guard with your friends. A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth. A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy, such as he who fears God finds; for he who fears God behaves accordingly, and his friend will be like himself."

This resonated with me since it can be too easy to trust someone without first fully knowing or testing them. It is also very true that a faithful friend is a treasure and beyond price. In the book of Sirach it also states, "Let your acquaintances be many, but one in a thousand your confidant." Just last Sunday, there was a Parish Priest who passed away suddenly and it was all very shocking and sad. Thinking about this priest and what I saw of him made me think and reaffirm that he was fairly closed and didn't reveal very much about himself. I and I'm sure others may question why since it seemed that the community didn't get to know him very well and perhaps vice versa.

I myself find that I can be closed at times and not open. Sometimes it's due to the fact of my personality, my comfort zone or just not wanting to reveal things which depending on my audience, a person may not relate with or understand. I do think it is often wise to be this way as the book of Sirach states. However, I also find it's just as important to become the friend in yourself that you want to attract. Jesus knows our hearts and he is the most intimate, compassionate and forgiving friend of all. When I get down that I don't have real friends to confide in this uplifts and reassures me and gives me great confidence in God. In today's first reading from the Book of Sirach, it's the 'true colors' so to say or the exposing of the heart and mind of a person that is tested. "...The fruit of a tree shows the care it has had; so too does one's speech disclose the bent of one's mind. Praise no one before he speaks, for it is then that people are tested." 

I have fallen in love with Venerable Fulton J. Sheen's writings and teachings. Currently, I am reading his most stimulating spiritual book, Peace of Soul. While reading the Magnificat reflection from Friday, I was pleasantly surprised that it was from Venerable Fulton J. Sheen. It was a beautiful, and rich meditation about the gift of an unhardened heart and I want to share some of it here. "Once you realize that God is your end...you begin to see that friendship, the joys of marriage, the thrill of possession, the sunset and the evening star, masterpieces of art and music, the gold and silver of earth, the industries and the comforts of life, are all gifts of God... He intended them to be bridges to cross over to him... Begin with your own emptiness and seek him who can fill it... Look at your heart! It tells the story of why you were made. It is not perfect in shape and contour, like a Valentine heart. There seems to be a small piece missing out of the side of every human heart. That may be to symbolize a piece that was torn out of the Heart of Christ which embraced all humanity on the cross. I think the real meaning is that when God made your human heart, he fond it so good and lovable that he kept a small sample of it in heaven. He sent the rest of it into this world to enjoy his gifts, and to use them as stepping stones back to him."

I will close with a reflection from Saint Bede: "The treasure of the heart is the same as the root of the tree. He who has in his heart the treasure of patience and perfect love, brings forth the best fruits, loving his enemy, and doing the other things which have been taught above. But he who keeps a bad treasure in his heart does the contrary to this." One of the devil's most damaging lies- it seems to be so close to the truth - is that only by first bearing good fruit can we then become good trees: We imagine that our own good works and merits must precede, or cause, God's love. How, then, do we acquire this treasure of patience and perfect love? How do we become good trees? By rooting ourselves in Jesus; by turning to him incessantly, filling our hearts with him."

Blood, Love, Trust

This past Sunday was the Wedding Feast at Cana. I think it can be easily overlooked and seen as nice. But it's more than nice or something to be thought of and then forgotten. I was moved with the excerpt from the Magnificat reflection about the feast. Jesus said, "When I know that it is the fitting time for me to suffer, when my suffering will be profitable, then I will willingly suffer..." This has to do with his passion, and knowing when this would come about. "Because, having it in his power when to die, he did not yet see it fit to use that power...He had come, then, having it in his power when to die. And surely it would not have been right were he to die before he had chosen disciples...The hour then had not yet come, the fit time was not yet."

God's plans are not our plans. God's ways are not our ways. There is a perfect timing for everything, and I think as we go and journey through life we continue learning this wise and true statement. On the Sunday for the Wedding Feast at Cana, my sister and I decided to go to the Church where we were confirmed. I hadn't been to that Church in a while, but it was nice to see and be part of another parish. The priest in his homily mentioned coming to Jesus and trusting in Him relating to the Gospel of John 2:1-11. There was a problem, the fact that there was no more wine for the wedding guests. Mary intercedes and tells her son, and Jesus acts and makes all anew.

This was his first miracle and made his disciples to believe in him. This all tells the way in which God works, at the right time and through mysterious ways. There wasn't enough wine and Jesus made it in abundance, plentiful and filling to the brim. His grace, love and mercy is in abundance. At first, there needed to be jars filled with water. God's grace and mercy fills us in this way too, to quench our dryness, our doubts, troubles, sins. This water would be turned into wine, the good wine that Jesus gives us every time we go to Mass, his blood, his sacrifice,his mercy and deep and true love for us.

Having to do with sacrifice, this past Monday, January 21st was the feast day of St. Agnes. Her story proves one of love for Christ, her faith, purity and innocence. In a similar way, it matches St. Maria Goretti, my confirmation saint. Hers also reflects purity, innocence and a hate of sin but a strong love for God and conversion for her murderer.

On Tuesday, was the remembrance of the court case of Roe v. Wade and the Day of Prayer for the Legal Protection of Unborn Children. Human life is sacred, beautiful, valuable and our country is still fighting the horror, evil and violations against life, woman and families on abortion. I still continue to pray for the end to abortion, those affected by it, and the conversion of abortionists and pro-choicers'. Prayer is powerful, as well as being a witness. I hope to continue being a witness and praying in front of a abortion clinic this year.

Jesus has given his life for us. His love has been shown bountifully and trusting in His timing, and will isn't always easy or certain, yet necessary if we ever want to live a life filled with faith, joy and trust. This week relates to the bloodshed with St. Agnes, as well as the millions of innocent children being killed and life and the safe space in their mother's womb to be erupted and taken from. Agnes trusted in God even until death just like Jesus upon the cross. And we are trusting in God's plan, and mercy for the unborn stripped of their natural right to life and dignity.

As the beautiful and well known Divine Mercy image from St. Maria Faustina depicts the Jesus's love and mercy says, 'Jesus, I trust in you.'

Baptism of the Lord

The Baptism of the Lord was celebrated yesterday. It is an important feast because it reveals so much. It marks the end of the Christmas season and the beginning and return of Ordinary time. The longer stretch this year in Ordinary time is due to a later start to Lent as well as Easter. The Baptism of the Lord also highlights the beauty, the sacrament and the importance of baptism.

While at Mass yesterday, we happened to be sitting close by to an image of  Jesus being baptized in the Jordan by John the Baptist. It was so relevant as Baptism is symbolic, meaningful and relevant to various things in the Church. I hadn't noticed before the Holy Spirit in the image of a dove lowered right above Jesus' head as water was being poured on to it. Somehow the image of the dove was hidden to my eyes, it looked camouflaged. But the Holy Spirit has an important role, in all of the Sacraments. In the sacrament of Confirmation, we receive the 7 gifts of the Holy Spirit as the oil is put on our foreheads.

Yesterday's feast reminded me of the upcoming baptism for my new niece as well as my nephew in Spring. I do not remember my own baptism since I was only 3 months old, but I can read about it in my baby book. I know the Church where I was baptized, where the gathering was, who my God parents are and the day I was baptized which happens to be St. Vincent de Paul's feast day, September 27th. But I think a baptism can also relate to other things as well. Baptism is the first sacrament where a child, a baby or an adult is entered into the church. It's a cleansing of our sin and being welcomed into God's family, as His sons and his daughters.

However, our spiritual cleansing can also happen in the sacrament of reconciliation where our sins are forgiven and longer tied to our souls. We are cleansed. Perhaps in Mass or in adoration, we feel cleansed and purified. We are made anew, fresh to begin again. In the Magnificat reflection by Pope Benedict XVI he states, "...That event began the public ministry of Jesus on the roads of Palestine. The Baptism of Jesus at the Jordan is the anticipation of his baptism of blood on the cross, and it is the symbol of the entire sacramental activity by which the Redeemer will bring about the salvation of humanity."

This week as I look forward to my niece's baptism and my 10th anniversary of Confirmation, I pray the Holy Spirit will continue to guide and enlighten me while walking through this journey of faith. As Pope Benedict XVI states further in the reflection, "In this way everyone can tend to holiness, a goal that, as the Second Vatican Council recalled, constitutes the vocation of all the baptized."

A Bright Light, A Resting Place

Christmas is almost here. Lights are strewn across the house, the tree and the block. I am very grateful to have been able to have a good amount of time this Advent season to reflect and prepare for Christmas, the holiest and most special of seasons.

The lights in our homes, on our Christmas tree are there to represent hospitality and generosity. We are meant to reflect this back to others as Christ did to us when he came into the world as a baby. I was reading a few days ago a reflection piece from St. Josemaria pertaining to Christ's humility.

"There is great simplicity also about his birth. Our Lord comes without any fanfare. No one knows about him. On earth only Mary and Joseph share in the divine adventure. And then the shepherds who received the message from the angels. And later on, the wise men from the East. They were the only witnesses of this transcendental event which unites heaven and earth, God and man... God humbled himself to allow us to get near him, so that we could give our love in exchange for his, so that our freedom might bow, not only at the sight of his power, but also before the wonder of his humility" (Christ Is Passing By, p. 38-9).

I was moved with his words, his explanations and reflection. I think we can often forget the reverence, value and deep meaning of Christmas sometimes. We know the story and become used to it, like it's second nature and can go through the motions. I think there is always something new to take from the story, meaning, feast and celebration of Christmas. Each year looks a little different because we're a little different maybe we are wiser, more experienced, more mature and have grown in various ways including spiritually.

The commercialism is a given and it too can cloud our vision of the true meaning of Christmas and how to prepare ourselves. Recently, I saw the brightest, loudest and most popular light show entourage on the block. It looks the same every year but it always bring about many people- children, families, couples, young adults. There's contemporary Christmas music playing, lights sparkling and moving and pictures being taken right and left. It's a sight to see but it's also a lot to look at, along with a crowd of people to peruse.

The house right next to it has a nice decor of lights and a simple but radiant nativity scene of Mary, Joseph and Jesus on their lawn. I took sometime to look and reflect upon it. It is such a contrast to the busyness, the loud and bourgeois and ever glowing lights and festivities  next door. Jesus was born in the most simple and humblest of ways. There were no parading lights, loud noises, or flashes for all to see and pay attention to. "His Father is the God who has made heaven and earth and there he is, in a manger, 'because there was no room at the inn'- there was nowhere else for the Lord of all creation" (Christ Is Passing By, p.39). Instead there was peace, there was silence and there was love. Love for you and me, that God humbled himself and sent his only Son to be born into the world. "God's will is fulfilled in the simplest, most ordinary of circumstances: a woman who gives birth, a family, a home" (p. 43).

Through Jesus' humble and ordinary way of coming into the world, of living on earth and becoming one of us for our sake, our most ordinary and simple experiences and circumstances is where God is as well. As St. Josemaria writes, "There is no human situation, no matter how trivial and ordinary it may seem, which can not be a meeting place with Christ and a step forward on our journey toward the kingdom of heaven" (p.43). May we be open to Christ to come into our lives, and our hearts this Christmas season. I wish you a very Merry and Blessed Christmas!

Humus and hummus

The best is yet to come

In Preparation

This week is the last week of the liturgical year. Yesterday, we celebrated the feast of Christ the King. We are preparing for the coming of Jesus and the upcoming Advent and Christmas season. Advent starts next Sunday, and it's a time for preparation for Jesus' birth and a very special, holy and joyful time of the year. It also starts the beginning of  a new liturgical year.

It's kind of crazy to think that this year of 2018 is also slowly drawing to a close with only a month or so left. With thanksgiving recently happening, I'm trying to reflect upon all that has happened and all that I am grateful for this year. It can seem like a lot and maybe even a little overwhelming, but I see it as a good challenge to think and see all that God has done for me, specifically this year.

I'm also wanting to reflect on all that I have learned, gained and grown in spiritually this liturgical year. As the priest said at Mass today, we are reliving Jesus' life throughout the liturgical year and it is the only way to live. All ways of living and cultures will die and fade away, but Jesus' way, the Christian way will live on. I really like that message, to remember that all throughout the year we are journeying on Jesus' life and growing and experiencing our faith with Jesus close by.

I remember I went to a Young Adult Christmas dance last year. It was the eve of the liturgical year, and it felt like a New Year's Eve party liturgically because Advent was soon approaching. I took a break from dancing and reflected upon the year and looking forward to the next, with the upcoming Advent and Christmas season. This year, I want to create that excitement in me again. To prepare for Jesus' birth, to grow deeper in prayer and set time for reflection and solitude. It is a busy time of year, with the commercialization of Christmas and the push and pull of shopping and running around town, slipping into the necessity of buying and buying some more. I think we can get caught up in how things are supposed to be this time of year and to reach a certain level of holiday cheer. The real meaning and value is preparing for something bigger and greater. It's something of peace and gentleness and full of love. Jesus reigns and has won the battle for us by being nailed on the cross and dying.

"With true humility, he, God, stooped down to our humanity in suffering and shame, and conquered pride and worldly pleasure and prestige. And with his wisdom he conquered the malice of the devil. So with unarmed hand, nailed fast to the cross, he defeated the prince of the world, with the holy cross as his mount." (The Magnificat).