Marian Consecration

Remembering the Fruit of Our Lives

 I have come to remember that the Word is alive and active. Whether coming across a scripture verse that stood out, or recalling a Bible verse and feeling comfort and inspiration from it. Yesterday and today, I have found that the Holy Spirit is active and guides us in our everyday moments, even sometimes gently reminding us of His presence through scripture.

Yesterday, as I was reading the amazing book about St. Gianna Molla, I came across a psalm verse that was depicting the Beretta family and Gianna's upbringing. It was the same Responsorial Psalm from the Mass readings, and it was beautiful. Psalm 128: Blessed are those who fear the Lord/Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; Your children like olive plants around your table. I found this a wonderful description of St. Gianna's upbringing, in her home as the author described her parents marriage and dynamic as well as her other siblings ( she had 7 siblings). 

I can't help but think about fruit and connect it with the first readings from Mass this week. The Book of Genesis, Adam and Eve deliberately are told by God not to eat the fruit from the tree of Good and Evil. And today's reading, Genesis 3:1-8, when Eve is tempted by the serpent to eat of the fruit and "the moment you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know what is good and what is evil." We all know how the story ends, and it leads to onslaught of sin, shame, disobedience and we are all a product of it from our first parents. 

This fruit is seen not just as something tangible like an apple or an orange, but what leads to life or what leads to death. As Galatians Chapter 5 states, "The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Reading more about St. Gianna's life, the fruit of her life, of her faith and her gentleness, patience, joy and love speak volumes even many years after her death (though she's known as a recent and modern day saint). 

Upon listening to Relevant Radio this week on the way to work, I heard a young girl ask a question on the air to Patrick Madrid. She asked 'why did Jesus cursed the fig tree?' And Patrick Madrid gave a clear and good answer, saying that the fig tree is a symbol for a person and how they are to  live their life. He referred to the Gospel message when Jesus and his disciples come back later to that same fig tree and noticed it has withered and has no life in it. 

The host, Patrick Madrid gave concise reasoning as he was speaking to a young person, that Jesus wants us to be happy in this life and we need to stay close to him. I thought it was a great reminder as I had a harder start to the week, and remembering this verse, this image of the fig tree (and this blog titled that), was a good reminder for me as well. :)

Today, I also came across two Bible verses from the Mass readings today. After Mass this morning, I was organizing some things in my closet and randomly pulled out a Radiant Magazine- a Teenage/Young Catholic women mini magazine that I received back in my early 20's and my sisters and I would share them, and I have still saved them. I opened to a page, and the first thing I read was a scriptural verse from the Gospel reading of Mark that was read today  at Mass. "He has done all things well. He makes the deaf hear and the mute speak." Mark 7:37. I was amazed, and below was an article that was related to that similar message of Jesus healing, particularly through hearing. 

And I flipped a page in front, and yet another scriptural verse, again used for today's Mass from the first reading. The title of that page was 'Who is Whispering?' and went on to say, "Did God really say, 'You shall not eat from any of the trees in the garden'?" Satan's words to Eve reveal much. He is a liar who uses doubt to try to separate us from God. ...Let St. Catherine of Siena's words be your own, 'Give no ear to what the devil whispers to you.' " I again was amazed at this connection, and felt there was some sort of meaning behind it.

 I came to mind how this week at times, my mind and heart felt flooded with doubt, comparison and a feeling at times of restlessness and discouragement on my heart. Peace began to pave way while at Mass, adoration and prayer. And as I told my sister on the phone regarding some doubt about the program I am in now and the path ahead, yet how it comes from the evil one wanting us to doubt God's plan and our peace and confidence, even joy in that.

 I believe the Holy Spirit inspired me to read more about St. Gianna Molla, as I'm sure she had her many doubts, uncertainties about God's plan for her life, her vocation and how it would all come to be. I felt flooded with renewed peace, encouragement, inspiration and joy feeling a deeper connection with her, her story and witness for God's plan unfolding for her. And it made me want to work even harder in my program, more dedication as she was working professional women, and did her work as a Doctor very well and cheerfully serving others. 

Another thing, yesterday was the feast day of Our Lady of Lourdes. It was also the day I chose to end the Marian Consecration I was preparing for for the past 33 days. I also felt a sense of refreshment, joy, and peace learning more about Our Lady and uniting my efforts with hers and ultimately to her son, Jesus. 

It was raining yesterday, and eventually loud and hard while at adoration. But I thought of those raindrops as grace being poured down. (Luckily, there was a covering). And the church has a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette praying, so I went over there after, with rain sprinkling lightly and gently and entrusting everything to Our Lady. It was a beautiful moment. And I will continue to trust that I can bear fruit in this life with her help, grace and intercession. 

Thanks for reading:)

Hello to a New Year

 It's the last day (night) before the new year! The new liturgical year that is, and it's so exciting to think about a new year ahead. Drawing to a close this year and anticipation for the next, and particularly Advent and getting ready for Christ's coming is such a beautiful and reflective time. 

All of the Mass readings have reflected in some way upon the end times, what's ahead and most of all Christ's return. The Gospel reading from yesterday was also another reminder. 

"Jesus told His disciples a parable. 'Consider the fig tree and all the other trees. When their buds burst open, you see for yourselves and know that summer is now near; in the same way, when you see these things happening, know that the Kingdom of God is near. Amen, I say to you, this generation will not pass away until all these things have taken place. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.' " Luke 21:29-33

How closely heaven is to earth and how Jesus makes his disciples and us understand higher things, spiritual things as we are so tied to earth and its own signs. The fig tree and one of my personal favorites, magnolia trees show their own signs in seasons. The fig tree is known for its fruitfulness in all seasons and what a great way to reflect and remind that that's how we are supposed to be as well. 

I can recall in former years attending a Catholic ministry dance on the cusp of the new liturgical year. Instead of it being a Christmas dance, I saw it more like a new years eve party with all the balloons, festivities and holiday attire. 

As I was in the church this evening (the same parish as the dance), I came reflecting upon this liturgical year as most of it was in 2020. And new things ahead, as well as resolutions for this season of Advent and into the Christmas season and New Year. The full moon tonight was beautiful and felt like an ending as well as a new beginning as it showcased the dusk sky so majestically. 

Happy Advent, and new liturgical year!!

Keeping the Light

 Today's Gospel reading of the ten virgins with their lamps and oil waiting for the bridegroom is a profound one. It's a reminder for us all as we near the ending of this liturgical year and start a new one. To be spiritually ready, watchful, alert, and awake. Lamps represent light and spreading God's light. And flasks of oil are the reserves, which the 5 foolish ones were not prepared for. As the Gospel of Matthew 25 says, "While they went off to buy it, the bridegroom came and those who ready went into the wedding feast with him. Then the door was locked."

Just a few weeks ago, I had plans to go to an early week day Mass. I felt that I was right on time but I quickly learned that I wasn't early enough, as the doors were locked. They were sealed tight and no one heard my knocking and pounding on the door in the shivering and the darkness of a Fall morning before sunrise. The bell rung as Mass began to start, and I felt so sad I couldn't partake and no one could hear me. I immediately thought of this Gospel reading in how the doors were locked, the rest of them weren't let inside even though they had some of their preparation with their lamps, but not enough oil to light them. 

It's a remarkable reminder as we contemplate what makes us prepared and ready for Christ's coming. I learned that day that waking up on time was crucial if I wanted to make it to Mass and start my day out right with the graces I need. The Magnificat read a beautiful reflection for the Gospel reading, and this is how it ended. "By penetrating words and keen, persuasive images, the patient Teacher is presently hard at work, forming virginal hearts in his hearers, showing them how to distill drop by drop the oil of fidelity and devotion into the lamps of their hearts, against the day when he, and no other, will come as ardent Lover, demanding a pure, flammable offering where his passion may eternally burn."

Everything Comes From the Cross

 Today marks the feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross. I was reflecting upon it this morning, soon after waking up. About Jesus' own cross, Mary's deep sufferings- hence tomorrow is the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, and the real, personal crosses in our own lives. 

From a church my sister visited

I looked up the message or meaning behind this feast, and it said , "To celebrate the cross itself, the instrument of salvation." There are different events in our lives and in my own where it showcases this suffering, this deep cross  whether interiorly, exteriorly and things of the sort. I was also thinking of some saints who happen to strike me in certain ways as upholding this cross in their unique pains and saying yes to what God had in store for them. A few of these saints that come to mind are Our Lady, St. Joseph, St. Padre Pio, St Gemma Galgani, St. Maria Faustina, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Oscar Romero, and Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati. 

Drawing closer to Our Lady in trust, in prayer, and through the rosary and the 7 Sorrows Chaplet Rosary, it's evident there were many sufferings and painful experiences she went through in her life. Growing more in my faith through these prayers has been helpful in my own life. Reading St. Maria Faustina's diary has allowed me to understand St. Faustina's mission and what Jesus has bestowed upon her as well as the many graces. Feeling more connected with her and learning about her various trials amidst the convent life shows her faith as a beautiful testimony. 

After reading Story of a Soul by Saint Therese of Lisieux, it has drawn other inspirations. Learning more about her saintly parents, and her family from my dear sister reading books about St. Zelie and Louis Martin has made me more intrigued to understand this beautiful soul through her parents, and family life. 

And St. Oscar Romero, I feel has followed me around. I have an image of him on my window, a key chain of him on my car keys, I have seen his tomb in El Salvador while visiting for my dear sister and brother-in-law's wedding, a t-shirt from the same sister, and now a bracelet from my other sister that I have been wearing lately. I only know a little bit about his story. He was a Catholic priest during the time of severe persecution and violence against priests in El Salvador. I believe he was shot while saying  Mass, most specifically while raising the host during the consecration. His true courage, and witness of faith is inspiring, powerful and transformative. 

Wearing the St. Oscar Romero bracelet

And there are many crosses that I can relate with on a personal level. I think one of the biggest ones for me in the past years has been loneliness. I experienced deep and heavy loneliness during my time in college specifically after transferring to a University. This experience and feeling has its waves and comes and goes at different times. 

Looking back, I can see a lot of growth, a lot of beauty in the process even though in the moment it didn't feel like much growth, goodness or beauty was happening. I remember describing to a former contact about some of that lonely experience while in school. This person was also going through a challenging time and was seeking some sort of consolation, or advice when we met up. I described to them a little of what I was going through then, and how looking back I could see it was in hindsight actually a beautiful and transformative time. Looking back for myself, it was a time to grow closer to myself and God, that He willed. 

And recalling those hard days, weeks and months a few years back reminds me of this year and how interesting and difficult it has been in its own way. Not too long ago, I felt that the only thing that I really did outside the house was go to church and pray. And some grocery shopping and exercise, but driving to the church felt most transformative, healing, necessary and essential throughout the months of ongoing waiting, wondering and hoping. It felt like it would never end and that was a very heavy cross to bear. I see it now as a growing in patience, fortitude and trust that things will fall into place when they are supposed to. 

Things on this side of the year aren't to say its easier or better. It's a lot different with a close sister out of the house, having a job again, some smoky air, and figuring things out again on this journey of faith and life, but I feel that I have grown and learned a lot along the way. God will continue to help me carrying my cross. 

A Silent Mold

Well hello...It has been a long while since I have written and posted on here. I couldn't believe it has been since late March, just 2 weeks in the shelter in place. So much has happened, and changed but not really.

I recently decided to write on here again after my sister told me I haven't written a blog post since March! I couldn't help but think of the coincidence and relevance of how this relates to what I came up with for writing on this Fig Tree blog today. I have been reveling and enjoying reading a book about silence, and titled 'The Power of Silence' by Robert Cardinal Sarah.

There have been so many beautiful, meaningful, and powerful points the author makes about silence, and how it truly reveals God's ways, design and love. God works the best in silence and most of the time we don't hear his voice since he speaks ever so softly in our hearts, and in our souls where he reigns.

I love delving into the Cardinal's points of this deep mystery of solitude and silence. And as I read through to come to know and understand how much our world and even ourselves at times dislikes and repulses the 'sound' of silence. I am also coming to understand the difference between absence of noise or sound and the meaning of solitude. Not to just quiet the noise and busyness around us, but also our minds, interior thoughts, our hearts. Cardinal Sarah declares, "The silence of our heart is the most mysterious thing...We have less control over our heart.' And 'Silence of the heart is silence of the passions."

And interestingly enough, this blog, this Fig Tree hasn't produced any fruit these past few months, however, I believe it has produced fruits of silence, and solitude.

I feel there is a parallel between what the world is experiencing and how we are dealing with a less fast paced, intensity of pursuit of entertainment and extra clutter of noise and stimulation outside of ourselves and rather the transforming beauty and power of silence. "Our world no longer hears God because it is constantly speaking, mat a devastating volume, in order to say nothing" (The Power of Silence).

Cardinal Sarah reveals, "In silence, not in the turmoil and noise, God enters into the innermost depths of our being." He says,"Silence is not an absence. On the contrary, it is the manifestation of a presence, the most intense of all presences." And he further states, "The real questions of life are posed in silence. Our blood flows through our veins without making any noise, and we can hear our heartbeats only in silence."

Though silence as I am learning from experiencing reading this book is a wonderful, necessary and beautiful thing it isn't always easy to attain, and manifest in our lives. There have been plenty of days and moments when I was craving extra stimulation, some noise and activities to attend to. These times we are in are just so different and obscure that even little things can make a difference if they are present or if they are lacking.

But what I have learned is that constantly and frequently searching for and pursuing things outside of ourselves can be a danger. I find there to be a balance and a happy medium with this since I'm the kind of introvert who thrives off inspiration, projects, ideas and goals to help me stay afloat in the creative and free spirit department. However, Cardinal Sarah states, "Man likes to travel, create, make great discoveries. But he remains outside of himself, far from God who is silently in his soul."

There's a peace that comes with sitting still and letting God in with the silence, solitude and serenity that our minds, hearts and souls crave, seek and find joy with. He adds further, "Silence is friendship and love, interior harmony and peace. Silence and peace have one and the same heartbeat...Man can find rest only in silence. The most beautiful things in life take place in silence."

I think silence not only brings about virtues such as  peace and joy but also humility. It's easy to get caught up in words, feelings and passions but when we listen or are silent, there's a calmness, a sense of humility that can come through. There have been encounters with priests who I can tell are holy, humble, prayerful and spiritual fathers. Either I have witnessed them praying devoutly and quietly or just by their actions, demeanor, choice of words or none they have shown something deep, and something greater that continues to be in all of us, and for us to strive towards. "God hears nothing else but this silent, humble, meek love" (The Power of Silence).

I'm trying to listen to my own heart and how God speaks, in ways I don't always know, imagine or hear at times. I can't always see it now, but there are still many blessings, graces and gifts that God is continually giving throughout this time. It can be easy to be envious of past days or years when things seemed 'easier', more pleasant, interesting or better.

But the challenge is for me to embrace this time with hopes, trust, courage, joy and even silence to allow God to reign, speak and lead where I feel like I have given up, became discouraged or got lost along the way. To end with this quote from Cardinal Sarah from the book The Power of Silence, "The more man advances in the mystery of God, the more he loses speech."

Slowing Down with God

I had a flashback from a year ago at this time. It all became clear and somewhat relevant to this time now. It's another Lent and this Lenten season has its own feel and memories to it. I can say it wont be the same with not being able to have Palm Sunday with palms and prepare for Holy Week, attend a Good Friday service or celebrate the feast of Easter. It's our own type of cross and sacrifice that we haven't seen or experienced before. This time of year with the upcoming feast of Easter is the most important events in our faith. God has different plans for us this year than we could have anticipated and just like there were twists and turns throughout Jesus' ministry and leading up to his sacrifice on the Cross, so too we find it ourselves in our own lives, and I find it mine as well.

Last March, I wrote about boredom and relating it with keeping up with the demands and daily grind of my new job. It wasn't what I hoped or anticipated for, as last Lent was crushing for me in the sense of daily sacrifices, misunderstandings and humiliations that were small or large.

When I look back, I can see all the good that came out of it and all the growth. My spiritual life was forging new waters and perspective but it wasn't a walk in the park any day of the week. With this 'boredom' that I wrote about and trying to get through the days by striving to learn whilst still staying engaged and inspired, I find it almost amusing that these days there are many people who are bored due to our current situation. They are bored with how our lives have shifted so much where we can't really be with people the same, let alone go places where we want to go due to this virus.

The strong and vivid memories that I have from a year ago come from the church I would go to for daily Mass each morning before work. There were the daily mass goers in their exact pews they would prefer to sit in. I would be aiming to get there on time although it wasn't always an easy endeavor with getting up earlier and preparing for the long day ahead.

With this pandemic that we are going through, this same church that I make a visit in is quite a contrast from last year. It is dark, and empty,with no candles lit or lights on but over the tabernacle. It is silent and calm with the Lenten tableau on the altar which symbolizes the emptying of ourselves. The contrast of last years Lent and this years is interesting to reflect upon. The church is the same place but I feel different. The memories of Masses being held and all the prayers said are held in my thoughts as I encounter this new situation in all of our lives.

I feel grateful to be able to spend more time in silent prayer this Lent, and it's what I truly desired last year but was always rushing off to a work place that was debilitating me emotionally and psychologically. It was so hard to leave after Mass and after a few prayers, now there's no rushing to do or places to go or even a work place to attend to. I feel God wants us all to slow down, reflect and draw closer to Him and His sufferings during this time. And it has been really nice to do so and use this opportunity in a positive and a spiritually enhancing way.

God wants us to trust in the journey amidst the trials, and to rely more on Him and His strength. Last year during this time, I felt so alone in my thoughts and in my experience; It was difficult to always express them in words. From Ash Wednesday last year I wrote down a reflection in regards to the start of Lent.

"Let all that you do be solely for the pure glory of God. If you were alone you might be afraid, but God's grace is in you, and with you and words in you...Don't be afraid of trials. Throw yourself full force into the loving arms of Jesus and with him you'll be able to take giant steps along the way of perfection."

Hebrew Lesson

A Thorn, A Rose

I had a lovely run but mostly walk  a few days ago. It really felt like the first day of spring and it got me excited since I've been craving warmer weather, sandal wearing, lighter clothing for some time. This relaxing walk also was one of the best in over a week with other things taking over my time to do so. I could finally process, enjoy, make time for inspiration. While walking I noticed how some of the most beautiful flowers and one of my favorites will not be in bloom for some time due to pruning. It is necessary for this to happen so the roses can grow and bloom better when the right time allows. This immediately made me think about life, and particularly what I'm going through, how there is the right time to bloom, grow, and develop, but sometimes before the results showcase themselves, there is a waiting season, an unknown period, and or suffering.

I couldn't help but relate this to Jesus's sufferings on the cross as well. He had a crown of thorns placed on his head, that pierced his head, but also his heart. One of my favorite images and prayers is to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and this image displays his heart burning like a furnace with a crown of thorns around it. The 3rd sorrowful mystery The Crown of Thorns has its own virtues that are linked with it. I think of humility, as this severe suffering of Jesus was related to mockery and scorn of being King. But there is also hope, because with suffering comes its own beauty, revelations, virtue and intimacy with Jesus's as well as his divine plan for our lives. Just like calm after a storm, a rose blooms and grows with its thorns.

I can easily recall the last few years and their own set of thorns, sufferings, and new challenges to keep hope, faith, as well as inspiration to lighten my mood, my heart, and see the silver lining. 2 years ago, I was beginning the journey of taking classes and starting a new path. It was exciting and interesting but also had its share of uncertainties, waiting, and trust. Or when there was so much interior gusto to graduate college and begin post grad, having a peaceful waiting period was hard.

There is so much encouragement, and spiritual inspiration in scripture which is ultimately what helps me to endure trials, or seasons of unknowns and waiting. I love Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 119 came to me the other day and spoke to my heart, and another one that came to me is 2 Corinthians:
'Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me- so that I would not become arrogant. I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me.' 

Surrendering to the King

Today is an important feast. It marks the end of the liturgical year but most especially the feast day of Christ the King, King of the Universe. There is a lot to grapple with this feast day, this time of year and preparation for the next upcoming feast day and celebrations to come. It's a favorite time of year for me with a lot going on, look forward to, internalize and pray about.

The song that stood out to me as a form of prayer this morning at Mass was a beautiful reminder of this feast and our faith. 'Sweet Redeemer, I surrender all I am to you.' The priest who said the Mass recalled how the cantor singing made him want to sing even more and louder, and I agree with this song declaring love, faith, and total surrender.

Yesterday, I wrote in my journal of the memory of about a year ago. It was the birth of my sweet nephew, but also the birth of what felt like internal pain, suffering and emotional distress at times. Going through the details in my head, the emotions and thoughts from last year brought me right back into the moment. I could recall fairly vividly the deepness and heaviness, and just how difficult it was to express in words to others. I remember going to a park and being by myself after a busy Thanksgiving and just needing to reveal in my thoughts, emotions and be in the present. It was a rainy day and happened to be Black Friday. The rain softened my mood and allowed me to refresh and have God console my own misunderstandings. I began to relax, process and enjoy the wet leaves and the fresh Fall air.

Yesterday, I went back to the same park for a change of scenery and pace. I needed to relax, get some outdoor time in and exercise. I was brought back to that Black Friday and which literally felt like a black friday to me. I was grateful to experience it but no longer have to. Finding inspiration was a struggle last time but the air, the beautiful trees and red and orange leaves, the sunlight were so lovely, inviting to look at and be with. I felt present and thankful.

To start soon this new liturgical year and close this one, I feel it's important to look back on this year. To not only be grateful for it but to see the blessings from our generous God and look for ways to improve, enhance in our spiritual life, and in other ways. This week of break will give me a good opportunity to take time for prayer and reflection, thanksgiving and surrender.

At the end of my journal entry, I wrote 'I'm glad I'm in a different place, and can reflect upon it, and hold it close in memory and let God take care of the rest.' I see the start of this new liturgical year a way to place everything in God's hands, the past, present and future.

I will close with a quote reflection from Pope Pius XI who named this feast during his Papacy.
"He is King of Hearts, by reason of his charity which exceeds all knowledge, and by his mercy and kindness which draw all men to him, for never has it been known, nor will it ever be, that man be loved so much and so universally as Jesus Christ." (Pope Pius XI, Magnificat)

God Provides

God provides. This was the message my favorite priest gave on Monday. The Gospel was at the heart relating to faith and God doing what he does best, provide. Jesus says to Peter pertaining to the temple tax, "But that we may not offend them, go to the sea, drop in a hook, and take the first fish that comes up. Open its mouth and you will find a coin worth twice the temple tax. Give that to them for me and for you." (Matthew 17:22-27).

Upon reflection, there were certain things that came to my mind regarding God's plan and purpose in His divine provision. This past Sunday, my sister, her friend and I had the honor of bringing up the gifts at Mass. I carried the wine and I couldn't help but think of the significance of it all. Wine is a symbol for many things when it comes to Jesus' sacred blood, but I also remembering hearing that wine is God's gift of joy, plenty and generosity. Wine is a good thing and it's not just a necessity like water but an abundance more. That's how God provides, more than we can imagine and at times we can't know or imagine either.

I watched the movie Mary of Nazareth with my sister last week, and we were both impressed with how the film depicted and portrayed Mary's life and her role. The scenes displayed well her deep surrender, trust, and love for God and humility to do His will. It also highlighted her 7 sorrows and her many crosses of misunderstandings, loneliness, and uncertainty when it came to Jesus' ministry and after Joseph passed away. God provided for Mary and her trust, faith, and hope in His plan and timing was an added response to that. God provided for us in giving us Mary as the new Eve throughout her life and especially through Jesus' sufferings on the cross, when he stated to John, 'Behold, your Mother.' This wasn't said just to John but meant for all of us, all of humanity. This is relevant since tomorrow is the feast of Mary's Assumption.

Yesterday, my dear sister and brother-in-law celebrated their 3rd Wedding Anniversary. It was so special to be a witness to their wedding ceremony and reception in El Salvador, and to watch their love story unfold in God's beautiful timing. To see God provide for my sister and their marriage is a powerful, hopeful and joyful thing to witness.

The coin in the fish's mouth is an odd, and even funny thing. God has a sense of humor and a way of providing that usually exceeds our expectations and predictions since life isn't predictable. And that's important to note, we aren't in control, God is. And He has a specific plan and will provide in His own unique, awesome, and beautiful way.